I was close to dying in car crash - Antonio

Michail Antonio does not know how he crashed his car into the tree. All he knows is that he did.

"The police came and when they found me I was in between the two seats. I wasn't actually in the driver's seat," he recalls.

"They said it looked like I was trying to climb out of the window, but because my leg was so badly broken the pain probably stopped me from being able to get out."

The first pictures of his crumpled Ferrari, which struck a tree in Epping Forest on a stormy Saturday in early December, were shared on social media and left people questioning whether Antonio was still alive.

The incident left West Ham's record Premier League goalscorer in hospital for more than three weeks with a broken leg - and facing a gruelling journey back to fitness.

Today, Antonio insists he will play again at the highest level, and feels he has been given "another chance at life" after he was "close to dying".

The 34-year-old sat down for an exclusive interview with BBC One's Morning Live presenter Helen Skelton to reflect on his "horrendous accident".

Saturday, 7 December had started out as a typical morning for Antonio, with West Ham training for a televised league match against Wolves two days later.

He remembers the weather "was windy, wet and horrific" on a day when the Met Office had issued warnings for Storm Darragh.

Antonio had felt "lazy" when his partner asked him to retrieve some bags from their other car before he set off, so instead he took his Ferrari - which he says he had doubts about.

"The back of the car kept swinging out on me, so I didn't feel safe," he says. "I had had it for three weeks and I was already thinking about giving it back."

It was a decision that changed everything, but when asked what he remembers about the crash itself - which occurred on his way home - his answer is "nothing".

"It's weird, because the whole way through this, I have been told that I was awake and was speaking to everybody - the police, the people, and the person who found me," he says.

"My leg was completely shattered and they got me out and put a splint on it by the side of the car.

"Everyone believed I got an air ambulance out, but the helicopter couldn't get off the ground because of the storm, so I was driven to the hospital."

Three weeks ago, Antonio went to see the remains of his car at the scrapyard.

"It gave me a weird feeling in my stomach. It just made me realise how close I was to dying. I had seen the pictures but it was 10 times worse in person. The car was an absolute mess. It was difficult for me."

The first memory Antonio has following the crash is a brief one on the Sunday when he was being spoken to by a scared friend - his long-time agent Mike Appiason.

By Monday, he was able to send a supportive message to his team-mates before their win over Wolves.

"I shattered my femur bone in four different places," he says. "I had one single keyhole surgery. They put a pole in my thigh with four bolts, so screws and bolts to knit it back together.

"My first surgeon said he didn't want me to put any weight on my leg for three months, which is around about now, and you can see that I am walking.

"We got a second specialist who said I needed to start putting weight on it, increasing from 10% up to 100% within three weeks.

"But I kept my crutches for a further two weeks. Overall, they say it will be between six to 12 months before my leg starts healing properly."

Antonio was also keen to set the record straight over talk on social media that he had either been drinking or taken drugs.

He explains: "I was travelling back from training and, anyway, I've never taken drugs in my life. I've said I like a drink. But in this situation, there were no drugs, there was no drink. That's been ruled out and confirmed by the police."

Antonio has spoken about how therapy helped him cope with the death of his father and break-up of his previous marriage, which meant he struggled to celebrate West Ham's Conference League win in 2023.

When asked how he would have reacted to the crash had he not previously had therapy, he says: "I wouldn't have processed it at all, or what I would have done would be to push it down and been angry or aggressive.

"Since the crash, I've been more emotional than I have ever been in my life, but I feel like it's better. Therapy is one of the best things that's happened to me in my life."

The next big question - can you be the Antonio of before? "Yes, 100%. I will play again," he replies.

But there was one moment where he doubted it. Two weeks ago, his physiotherapists asked if he had career-ending injury insurance. "I didn't sleep a wink that night," he says, with a smile and shake of his head.

Antonio's road to recovery will be a relentless journey requiring countless hours in the gym, with running the next step in his pursuit of fitness.

"That's what I am focused on and why I am working six days a week. I've always been positive from this situation. It's a horrendous accident, and it's a massive injury," he says.

"It's the biggest injury I've ever had in my career. But the fact that I'm already two to three months ahead of where I should be, I know that I'll play again, and I know that once I'm playing the game I'll get the sharpness back.

"I was one of the quickest at West Ham. So my body wasn't the body of a 34-year-old before I had the accident anyway. I can still be sharp and still do the business.

"People have always doubted me. My mental strength is something that I've always believed in and this is just another setback, and it is not going to stop me."

When Antonio went to see his destroyed Ferrari at the scrapyard, the fear of not seeing his six children grow up left him with a sick feeling in the pit of his stomach.

"The most difficult part is that I almost wasn't there for my children," Antonio says. "It's just made me happy, positive about life, because I've got another chance at life.

"During this, we kept it away from the kids. My eldest saw it, and he struggled with it. He's 13, and obviously people were showing photos of the car.

"So he came down and saw me in the hospital. But the younger ones, they never really knew how bad the situation was. We kind of avoided letting them get on the internet."

The one major concession Antonio has made is he will not be driving any fast cars for a little while.

"I've always been a fan and friend of sports cars and old classics, but I can't lie to you, sports cars are not my friends," he says.

"So right now, I have a Mercedes people carrier and my brother is my driver. For now, anyway, I'm staying far away from sports cars."

But Antonio added that he did overcome his first drive since the crash last week. "I don't remember the trauma so I have no nerves.

"The only problem I have with it right now is every time I get behind the wheel, I worry that even if something small happens, it will be like 'ah, Michail's been in a crash again', and that kind of negativity gets in my mind and gives me a bit of nerves."

At the time of the crash, Julen Lopetegui was Antonio's manager at West Ham but the Spaniard was sacked and has been replaced by Graham Potter.

Being so badly injured while having a new boss appointed at the club concerned Antonio initially.

"That was horrendous for me," he adds. "I'm not gonna lie, it was one of the hardest things for me, the fact a new manager came in and I wasn't there to show what I can do, with my contract up at the end of the season.

"It was difficult for me at the time, but the only thing I can focus on is me and making sure I am right.

"One thing I have had to realise is that it doesn't matter and I can't rush myself and put myself out there when I am not right because it would make things worse.

"If I rush myself then that will be the reason I didn't get a contract. As long as I make sure I am right then I know I will have done everything I can."

West Ham have funded Antonio's rehabilitation, including a trip to Dubai that involved physio, rest, recovery and meditation.

The club have helped to organise charity initiatives to raise funds for the emergency services involved in rescuing him from the wreckage, including when the entire team warmed up in Antonio shirts before auctioning them off.

Further support came from team-mate Jarrod Bowen who held up Antonio's shirt when scoring against Wolves at the London Stadium.

And Antonio received a warm reception when he walked on to the pitch at the recent home game against Newcastle while he was off crutches.

"The love feels good," he continues. "When I got into football, I did it as a hobby and didn't support any clubs.

"Now I am definitely a West Ham fan. What the club did for me, the support they gave me on and off the field, the hospitals and the specialists, was unbelievable. I thank the club, the fans, the emergency services, the people around me."

And on being stopped in the street by fans eager to know if he will return, he adds: "I like that people care enough to come and ask me the question, so I don't mind repeating it 1,000 times. The goal is to be back scoring goals."

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