The popular apps aiming to tame the chaos of family life

"My husband and I couldn't live without three apps," says Jo O'Connell, from Bournemouth in Dorset.

She lives with her husband, Jonathan, their two children, Bethany and Bo, plus one rescue dog. As well as juggling household and family responsibilities, she also runs her own public relations company.

"Everyone has busy lives," she says. "There is school work, appointments, shopping… all constantly demanding our attention. We used to double-book ourselves, waiting to get back home to look at a calendar, or shopping list on the fridge."

The O'Connells turned to technology, looking for apps that would update on their phones immediately, giving them shared information in real-time.

Trello is a list-making app, which the family use to keep track of household chores, to manage a house renovation, to list account passwords, favourite recipes, and Christmas and birthday presents.

They use Google Calendar to sync activities, and OurGroceries to plan meals and share shopping lists.

"The pace of life just gets faster and faster," says Ms O'Connell. "It can be overwhelming. We never stop."

With the increased pressures of modern life, is the way we're communicating with our partners changing?

Lou Baltruschat Hollis, 35, from Bedfordshire, is another working parent juggling a busy schedule. She lives with her husband and their two young boys.

"Running a business full time and having two children - there is always a lot going on in our lives," she says.

Research from UN Women suggests that women also took on a greater burden of household work during the pandemic. So, could technology help -among the multitude of apps that promise to help families collaboratively manage their lives, which ones are popular?

Ms Baltruschat Hollis trialled various apps. Then she had a brainwave: to re-purpose an existing app she was already using for her online business. Notion is a project management software that is used for note-taking and task management.

"I found it so helpful to compartmentalise things - from cleaning to Christmas," says Ms Baltruschat Hollis. "Using this tech feels simple and streamlined. It makes life easier."

When Steven Rueter, 32, from San Francisco, and his now wife, Lily, first moved in together, they found they had new shared responsibilities to divvy-up.

"We learned that the seemingly simple tasks of running a household can really add up," says Mr Rueter. "I figured, there needs to be an app for this - so I built Merge."

Task management app, Merge, was launched in 2017.

"It helps couples organise the everyday responsibilities of living together," says Mr Rueter. "The growth to tens of thousands of users was unexpected. Membership continues to grow daily."

But it's not all about managing life's mundane tasks. After what has been a largely fun-free couple of years, during the pandemic, there are apps popping up geared to helping couples get their lives back. Apps that help organise adventures, plan for a family or simply spend quality time together.

"We use quite a few apps as a couple," says Lavina Dsouza, 34, from Leeds. "Some to log expenses or for daily chores. But mostly we use them for travel."

Previously, Ms Dsouza and her husband would lose track of budgets and end up paying more than they had planned. Now they use an array of apps to plan for their adventures.

"We particularly like TripIt," she says. "It keeps track of all our reservations and tickets, so we're not arguing [over] who was in charge!"

When Tom, 35, and Madeleine, 32, Whiteley, from Surrey, discovered they were expecting their first child, they turned to an app called Kinder, to help them choose a name for their new baby.

"It was a fun way to do something that was otherwise quite boring," says Mr Whitely. "We'd been out of the dating scene for a while, so doing something Tinder-style was a bit of fun!"

Kinder uses the 'swipe-to-like' characteristic of dating app, Tinder. It was launched in 2016 by Dutch developer, Krijn Haasnoot.

In the first year after it was launched, around 3,000 people downloaded the app. In 2018, the app went viral and has now been downloaded 1.5 million times.

"Technology can improve 'old' ways of doing things by making them more fun," says Mr Haasnoot.

Another app similar in design to Tinder is Cobble, which promises "less time planning, more time together".

"I was tired of going back and forth with my husband every night about what we were doing for dinner," says founder, Jordan Scott. "While there were tonnes of great resources out there, there was nothing to help us collaboratively land on a decision."

Ms Scott launched decision-making app, Cobble, in June 2020. Since then, Cobble has grown to a team of 16 people and, this year, the firm plan to launch in 15 new cities.

Cobble makes "decision-ing" easy, says Ms Scott - what to watch on TV, which bar to go to, where to go on a mini-break.

"Gone are the days of sending 50 texts back and forth, or going around in circles over what to watch, or what to order. We don't need to waste time like this."

All of the apps mentioned so far, might make life more efficient - but do they just add another layer of screen-based activity?

According to DataReportal, people aged 16 to 64 already spend around seven hours per day on connected devices.

Recent studies have shown screen time often replaces healthy behaviours like physical activity and sleep and, rather than making us feel more connected, can lead to loneliness and depression.

Jeremy Edge, founder of internet addiction counselling service Escapingthe.com raises some concerns. He helps people who suffer from gaming disorders, social media addiction and other problematic screen use.

He says that if we are on our devices while in the company of others we are 'phubbing', or ignoring someone in favour of our phones, which "hurts the relationship and leaves people feeling disconnected".

Mr Edge says social media should be used to contact loved ones, and to organise a place to spend time together in-person.

"Great relationships are built face-to-face in the physical world," he says. "Couples need time to talk and connect without any screens or distractions."

But back in Bournemouth, Ms O'Connell says using tech as a tool can mean we get to spend more time with our loved ones.

"Simply having a few apps can make life easier," she says, "so you can spend more time doing what you love with those you love."