Toby Penty: England's number one retires from badminton

2 years ago 15

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Badminton was once Toby Penty's lifeline; his place of solace. Now, with a markedly different outlook on life, the time has come to step away.

Penty, England's number one men's singles player, was diagnosed with alopecia in late 2018 and previously spoke of how his sport became a "bubble" in which he could forget.

More than three years on, he's now in a place where he doesn't need to forget. More content in himself than ever, he is retiring from the sport and ready to face whatever life throws at him next.

"In terms of my personal story, my journey, I'm at a point where I feel I've accomplished what I wanted to," Penty, 30, told BBC Sport.

"I don't need badminton as much as I once did. It's not quite defining me as much and I'm super happy and comfortable in my own skin, so I'm ready to move onto some new challenges."

Those new challenges will include a switch to coaching, as well as studying psychology after the support he has received since his diagnosis inspired him to pay it back.

He is reflective on the ups and downs of the past few years, no doubt stronger for the experience.

"First and foremost, it's taught me what's important in life," he said.

"I know some of these things are a bit cliched, but understanding that process from really struggling with life in general, to a point where I probably feel more content in my own skin than I ever have.

"It's been challenging, but I wouldn't want it any other way, it's made all the little victories mean more and hopefully that's something I can pass onto others.

"It's not just about winning medals, but all the other things that come with it - the relationships you build along the way and how you look at yourself every day, getting up in the morning and looking in the mirror. How you feel about yourself is more important than how many podiums you're going to stand on.

"It's those feelings and emotions that you search for in life and I feel like I've come to grips with that. Because of that, I've been able to enjoy these last moments of playing."

In August, a year after making his Olympic debut in Tokyo, Penty reached the quarter-finals of the Commonwealth Games - a result he was "gutted" about, yet it proved to be about so much more.

In an Instagram post, Penty - who reached a highest world ranking of 43 - said the home crowd in Birmingham made him feel "10 feet tall", just a couple of years after he wanted the "ground to swallow him up".

"After I came back to play [after the Covid lockdown], it was really difficult to play in front of people. The feelings I was getting playing under the spotlight with the cameras was still quite a lot for me. I remember after one tournament I called my coach and said 'I think I'm done'," he told BBC Sport.

"Luckily, he talked me out of it and I got some extra help on the side, and so to go from where I was, to almost having what felt like an out-of-body experience, playing in front of crowds like that and embracing it, it doesn't get much better.

"Winning stuff is one thing, but to have feelings like that is pretty special. It's something I'll remember forever I think. I'm very happy that's how I went out.

"I'm very proud that when the going got tough and I could have easily walked away from the sport, I didn't, and my perseverance paid off.

"Especially in Olympic sports, there are so many people who leave on a tough note or don't get the ending they fully deserve, so for me to come out with my own happy ending after the ups and downs, it's a really nice feeling."

I really struggled when I lost my eyebrows - Penty on alopecia

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