'You make your own hope, I'm not going to let cancer win'

ByNigel Ringland

BBC Sport NI Senior Journalist

"I think in life you make your own hope. I'm not going to let this cancer win."

Ciara Mageean has always been a fighter.

Her athletics career was a portrait of resilience, battling adversity and never giving in.

Now, in a battle that goes far beyond the track, those same qualities are shining through.

Mageean's stage four bowel cancer diagnosis came in May 2025 and she has now had 18 rounds of chemotherapy.

It will come as no surprise to those that know her that the 34-year-old is determined that this battle will not define her - even if she knows it could well turn into a fight she cannot win.

For the two-time Olympian, she is trying to find happiness in the little things in life.

She still has hope, though she admits "there are certainly moments where it's a lot harder for it to shine through".

"Throughout this journey, there's been things that have been so crushing, and the news is so tough to be told that you might have two to three years left to live," Mageean told BBC Sport NI.

"It's something that's absolutely catastrophic in your life, and I hold on to the hope that I can be part of that 10% to 15% that survives beyond five years."

Mageean hopes that there is ongoing research that might change her prognosis, and she is determined to enjoy her life because "none of us are guaranteed tomorrow".

"Obviously, I've been given a diagnosis that's very tough but there are people that go out today, and they won't come back in their door.

"That's hope and joy for me, that I can survive this and I can live into my old age.

"I think we all need that no matter what, we need to keep hope because if not, then it's won already."

Mageean says the moment she was told she had stage four bowel cancer "was something that completely floored me".

Her mum, Catherine, was with her for the initial diagnosis but, when, a few weeks later, the devastating news was confirmed, she says telling her family was "the hardest thing I've ever had to do".

"Is there ever a right moment to tell your family you have stage four cancer? It was hard," she said.

"My family just embraced me. My daddy had to go for a wee walk. He never likes me to see him cry.

"The hardest thing is how much of the burden that my family carry and the grief that they carry, and that they feel that they can't help me. It's just me out there.

"I'm glad that it's me that can take on all of this pain and the sickness. They just would really love to help, and they can't."

The Portaferry middle-distance runner is now waiting the results of a scan that will be crucial to her life expectancy.

As many cancer patients will know, this can be unbearable and she describes it as being in "limbo".

"It's like a little air of worry and dread because you really want the scans to show that the treatment is working and that you're responding to the chemotherapy.

"And there's this fear of, what if the scans show something that's not what you want to hear?

"I'm trying my best to not focus on the negative because there's nothing I can do to change anything and worrying doesn't change things.

"It just makes me feel much more upset in the immediate sense."

When asked what her greatest race on the track was, she can't give one answer, the list is longer than that.

In an 18-year career full of highs, lows, records and medals - most notably Commonwealth Games silver in 2022 in the 1500m and European gold in Rome in two years later - it is understandable that she can't narrow it down to one moment.

Honest and authentic, Mageean has chronicled her experiences in a biography that goes into great detail of her treatment as well as reflecting on her athletics career.

Unfortunately it's a book written five years too soon.

While dealing with her diagnosis is one thing, she admits she also had to grieve the career that abruptly came to an end.

There's been feelings of anger and frustration, and the thoughts of 'why me?'

"I was given a cancer diagnosis and I was told that I might have two to three years left to live.

"Then I have to come to terms with, 'well, there's my running career finished', and that's it.

"Can I mourn that, considering there's a much bigger thing in the fight for my life?"

Mageean missed the 2024 Olympics in Paris through injury and she admits she is still "heartbroken" she will not get to focus on the next Games in Los Angeles in 2028.

"I didn't get that moment on the track to sign off my career, that special little farewell last race.

"Obviously, it's not been as tough as the other parts of this journey but it's something that I had to acknowledge and give time to. I'd say I'll still be processing it for a while."

The European 1500m champion of 2024 admits she stopped watching athletics after her diagnosis and it is only recently she can bring herself to follow the sport she loves so much.

Her grief over her career, her passion and livelihood, is "more of a journey, never a destination".

"I'll still have little moments where I'm bitter, disappointed, and angry.

"But then I try to switch my head up and realise that I had such an amazing career, a career that many others didn't get to have.

"I'm going to be grateful for that rather than focus on the negativity of not being able to finish it the way I wanted to."

While Mageean does not know what lies ahead for her, she is determined to keep living her life to the full.

She is already in advanced plans for her wedding day to her long-term partner, Tommy, and is seeking second opinions on possible treatment options.

"That's something that's exciting too, because I don't want to leave any stone unturned.

"I'm looking at all these things as beautifully positive. Hopefully, by the end of the year, I'll have a wedding ring on my finger too."

That's the Ciara Mageean philosophy. Never give up hope and keep fighting the good fight.

"I would prefer to not have to be as resilient as I have been throughout my life, but it's something that's served me well.

"I'm not going to let that fear, anger and sadness be the overwhelming emotion because if I did, it would take away from whatever joy can be there.

"I have faith in people and I have faith in kindness. Sharing that little bit of hope with each other and that you're in each other's thoughts is a beautiful thing to do.

"I'm so grateful for everybody who's done that for me."